I’ve wondered for a while about putting some of my thoughts on my weight loss journey down in a blog. I’ve not done it as there are already so many of them out there. However it’s quite cathartic to type it up and if there is a chance it can help someone then happy days.
I’m 38 years old and for as long as I can remember I’ve not been happy with my weight. As a child I always loved my food and therefore ate a lot. As a teenager I was not skinny but probably not massively overweight either. That is until, at age 16, I dislocated my knee, and then did it again a few months later, at which point I had to have surgery on it. This meant that I had a lot of time not being able to exercise and didn’t in anyway attempt to restrict my eating habits. That’s meant, for at least the last 20 years, I’ve eaten a lot of food without doing much exercise.
Throughout most of my adult life I’ve been ashamed of my size and found it hard to process. Some people don’t seem to have a problem pointing it out, I’ve had a lot of people think they’re making hilarious jokes about my size and every time I’ve tried to laugh it off whilst hiding my internal hurt and shame. If you ever make those jokes, stop.
Over the years I’ve tried to lose weight on quite a few occasions, losing nearly 4 stone a couple of times and smaller amounts at other times. However, it’s always stopped at some point and I’ve never kept the weight off… that is until now.
So what has changed? Post lock down I had an important meeting and needed to dress a little smarter. I went to my wardrobe and tried on a few shirts but none of them fitted. I went to get my “safety” shirt - the one I knew would always fit no matter what, and it did fit, but it was definitely a little too snug! Around this time I decided to weigh myself and I was at an all time high of 24st 9lbs/345lbs/157kg. When I got on the scales and saw that, I was gutted. I’m 6’4” so have always carried my weight reasonably well but as I looked at pictures of myself I was not happy and I wanted something to change.
Getting on the scales and realising the damage I had done to myself was scary. I had fear over my health and how that could impact me as a husband, father, son and friend. My life isn’t just my own, I have responsibilities and people who love me. I had put my life in danger, through years of over eating and it was time to bring myself to account.
I do quickly want to add a point here about health and the importance of looking after yourself: I’m a big advocate for body positivity and people being comfortable in their own skin, however, I think it’s crucial that this is not at the expense of looking after yourself. I know that during my time of being overweight it has caused me more health issues. There have been various times that I have needed healthcare which would either not have happened or been as extreme if it wasn’t for my obesity. This means that I have put extra strain on the NHS, caused stress and worry to my family and myself, and missed time at work, etc. Don’t get me wrong, I know I would have had illnesses and injuries regardless of my weight, but I am also very aware that my unhealthy lifestyle has not helped in these situations. As a Christian I also feel like I have a God-given responsibility to look after the body He has given me. I’ve not been great at that for too long and I want to change that now.
All of this being said, I try to live my life without judging others and I appreciate that people face many different issues and situations in life that can affect how easy or hard it is to address weight issues. I also realise that I come from a place of privilege in having the time, money and support to change my path.
So, the big question, how did I do it?
(Another quick disclaimer: I’m no expert, this is what worked for me and that’s why I’m sharing it.)
My main plan was to count calories and then, later down the line, exercise. I started my journey with the amazing app MyFitnessPal and at first I limited myself to 3000 calories a day, which is 500 over the recommended allowance for a man, but still a big enough deficit compared to what my body was naturally burning in a day. I am not going to get bogged down in the science of things too much in this blog but basically, to lose weight, you need your body to burn more calories over a week that you take in. Food and drink both provide calories and your body burns a certain amount everyday through living/existing - your body uses the energy you take in from calories to keep you alive and exercise burns extra calories on top of that (end of my poorly worded scientific explanation).
So, my 3000 calories a day helped me to lose weight really quickly to begin with: anywhere between 3 and 6 lbs a week. Every week I would reduce my intake by 100 calories to where I am now on 1850 calories a day. This meant that I could still eat bigger amounts of food whilst I still had a bigger appetite and then, as that appetite got used to eating fewer calories and reduced slowly, so did my calorie intake. Don’t get me wrong, since I started I have had times of feeling hungry and I still do but I think that is a good thing. We’re not designed to be satiated all the time and being hungry is our bodies reminder to eat. It also made me realise that it had been a long time since I felt truly hungry…
One of the reasons I have failed in the past is because I have tried to go too fast at the start. I cut out most of the foods I really enjoyed (chocolate, crisps, cake, etc) and that meant that I constantly craved those things, so eventually my willpower would disappear and I would fall off the wagon. Once I had this feeling of failure, I would struggle to get back on the wagon. To conquer that I decided that I would have a day every week that I would not calorie count, one day a week - Saturday - where I could eat what I wanted and not feel guilty about it. Going back to the science of things, so long as my calories are in deficit over a whole week, I’ll still lose weight (for example, if I burn 3000 calories a day before exercise that is 21,000 calories a week. If I eat 2000 x 6 that’s 12,000 and 5000 calories on a Saturday (which would be extreme!!) then I’d still have a 4000 calorie deficit over a week which equates to about 1lb of weight. This is a very simplified way of looking at it but it works for me!).
Saturday means I have something to look forward to food-wise. I still really enjoy food and don’t want that to change. I like fruit and salad but most of the time I’d rather have a burger. If on a Wednesday I’m craving a Big Mac then I know I’m allowed it on a Saturday. The other benefit of calorie counting is that if I get to the end of the day and have some calories left then I can have a treat - a chocolate bar or a bag of crisps and have no guilt about it.
Some of the other things I’ve done as part of the journey are as follows:
- Eat five fruit/veg a day. I have a rule that if I get to the end of the day and have not completed this then I have to finish those before I’m allowed any treats. As it is I pretty much always have my 5 with breakfast and lunch so any at teatime are a bonus. I want to make sure my food intake has plenty of nutritional value (I could easily just eat chocolate up to 1850 calories a day but not sure that would do my insides any good!).
- I sometimes do intermittent fasting - this is meant to boost your metabolism which helps you lose weight. Quite often I will not eat between 7pm and 10am. It’s hard to measure if this works but it does help me focus better on my goals.
- Eating less of something instead of going for low fat choices. I don’t enjoy low fat cheese or low sugar baked beans or flora lightest of light spread so I’d rather have a smaller portion of the foods I do enjoy. This is personal preference of course but, for me, when I’m calorie counting, the food I consume has to be as enjoyable for me as possible.
- Exercise - the idea of me doing any serious exercise has always felt unlikely, but as time has gone on I’ve found it really helpful in equipping me to lose weight. I tried running with the Couch to 5k app but, after several attempts, my body simply doesn’t agree with it, After shin splints twice and a stress fracture I decided not to risk any further damage! A lot of this could be to do with dislocating my knees when I was younger. Anyway, I started to make use of the exercise bike that had been collecting dust in our house and I bought an electric bike - that has been a game changer for me. I’ve done over 1600 miles in a year on it and, as time has gone on and I’ve got fitter, I’ve been able to reduce the amount of electric I use when cycling and gradually push myself harder. I think if I’d gone for a regular bike, I wouldn’t have had the energy, so would have probably given up on it.
- Allowing myself special occasions is really helpful. At Christmas and birthdays I might have an extended period of not counting calories: a weekend, or even a few days. In fact, this Christmas just gone I didn’t count for the full two weeks holiday, though I am now still losing some of that weight (and that’s ok!)!
A few last things it’s worth mentioning that have helped me massively are, firstly, the realisation that this needs to be a life long goal and isn’t a quick/temporary fix. I’ve previously had my eyes on getting to my goal and then thinking I’ll be fine forevermore. The reality though, is that changing that perspective has been crucial! I now understand that my affinity with food means that, if I let things slip, I could undo the hard work I have put in. I want to make sure that, for the rest of my life, I try to get the balance of treats and nutrition right. I want to be able to enjoy food in a way that is good for me and not constantly go drastically up and down in weight. I don’t know if I’ll forever use MyFitnessPal to track calories but I certainly want to have something in place so that I have accountability and a record of what I am consuming.
Secondly, support from family and friends: Louisa (my amazing wife) has done this journey with me (along with her sister Elinor but I won’t mention too much without permission!) and she has been such a massive help for me, picking me up when I felt sorry for myself on the weeks when I gained weight and when things started to slow down (which is normal as you get closer to your target weight!); friends who kept asking me how things were going and encouraging me to keep on going (shout out Matt, Joey, Kim and many more); my mum who I know has had this battle herself so being able to understand the journey and talk about the literal ups and downs of weight loss. Having a support network is the biggest thing that has made the difference for me and it’s why I am always happy to talk about this and always willing to be a support to anyone who is fighting this same battle.
I’ve been so inspired to hear about other people who have begun/restarted/continued in their own journey after hearing about what I’ve done. I genuinely believe anyone can do this! No matter how long someone has been overweight, it’s never too late to change.
Many people along the way have asked me what the secret is to my weight loss. The honest answer I give is always, sadly, there is no secret; there is no easy way; there is no instant fix. So many diets make it sound like you can get to your goal in days or weeks, but the reality is that it takes hard work! I’ve actually (mostly!) enjoyed the process and I feel so much better for it, but it has taken a lot of discipline, a huge change of lifestyle, and a willingness to say no when people offer me doughnuts on a Monday morning!!
I know that this is not the only way to achieve weight loss goals but, like I said, this is what works for me, and it has genuinely changed my life. My physical health is so much better than it once was but, possibly more importantly, so is my mental health, not just the way I feel about myself when I look in a mirror, but also the freedom I feel physically has only helped to make my brain feel freer too if that makes sense.
I really hope this has been helpful to read. Please get in touch if you want to chat about any of this or comment if you don’t agree with it. Tell me your own stories. Ask questions and let’s break down some of the taboos around weight and the shame that is so often attached to it.
